broken pieces of me…

Bright-eyed skittish creatures come towards and beside us on the path as more red eyed daemons step out in front of us. These nervous critters cross our path eagerly and with little regard to our golden beast as he trudges along his regular course.

Eventually our trek is halted by a glowing red signal and even the glare-eyed monsters cease their movement in fearful respect. One such beast, directly ahead of us has a bizarre tag beneath his jaws…

“California” is written in a scrawling cardinal ink.

We travel a little ways behind California as she makes her way onto the cross-path ahead of us, though she is confused when we come to the next turn off… she does not realize that the split path we are on is to start towards the causeway over the water, not travel beside it so she has halted the movement of our beast.

Though, today, he is more patient than usual. He waits until this new glowing red signal turns its back to become green and we all begin our forward movement again.

I watch for the deer that feed beside the path over the water but see none. In these colder months they tend to sleep later or perhaps they feed at the same time, only deeper out of sight.

Eventually I am dropped at my location to work out my day as a slave.

Sad existence, I know this however… what choice do I have?


And here we are… I’m at work and it’s frickin’ freezing in here. For those of you who actually know me… it takes a lot for me to admit that about where I work. Normally I could melt ‘cause the regular room temp is set to 23 C (which I set myself for the girls on our thermostat so that they’d be comfy) AND the girls have their little space-heaters on.

However… I come in this morning, take my coat off, and think “Gee… it’s kinda cold”. After a few more minutes without my coat and my body getting used to the temp in the room, I think… “Holy… it’s COLD in here”. So I go to the thermostat and it says it’s 12 C …. 12 C indoors??!!

By this time my fingers have started to feel like their freezing and I make myself a green tea with loads of honey and wrap my scarf back around my neck ‘cause I’m already fighting a bug and do NOT want to make it a throat cold. Been feeling somewhat like a songbird the past few weeks singing ABBA tunes at home alone in my room so I don’t want to lose my voice.

I’m a little afraid ‘cause the Boss asked me yesterday if we pay for the heat here in the office or if the landlords do… I told him the landlords do. But we had heat yesterday… and we don’t today (after he was supposed to meet with the landlords). However… pipes have also been freezing all over the place in the city… so maybe our pipes are frozen??

GAH… all I know is; I’m cold. I have my scarf around my neck and I didn’t bring a sweater today (like I normally do) ‘cause I figured I’m not in the greatest of moods and getting overheated won’t help. Riiiight. I didn’t even bring my mitts or hat. *cries*

Anyway… that’s the news from the frozen wastelands of my office. I hope you enjoyed the little story above. Sometimes my imagination runs away with my brain and brings my fingers along for the ride… LOL

TTFN all!

~ BeAn ~

More soon…

I know that I haven’t posted to my site in a while and I promise to real soon. This is just something that I need to get out asap because the deadline is Jan 31, 2009 (so the end of this month!).

There is a contest for “America’s Favorite Animal Shelter” and it is open to shelters in Canada. I was invited to a Facebook group centered around the Animal Rescue League here in the city and just voted for them. If you want to support the ARL, please click on this link: and vote!

That’s it for right now =^..^=

Don’t let the weather get you down because… just remember… after Winter comes Spring!

What is it about certain ‘things’ that set me off? Honestly these ‘things’ are innocent enough and, as far as I know, I’m not drawing on some ancient innate knowledge because… let’s get real… you can’t claim to know something that you don’t yet. Well I suppose some people can, believing in past lives, but my memory is so bad sometimes that, even believing in past lives myself, I don’t think I could remember anything clearly from a past life that I have a hard time even remembering in this one! ;oP

But, getting back to what I started talking about … portents, omens, odd feelings…

Ever get that whole calm-before-the-storm feeling? Problem is I don’t know if I got the feeling before I went outside or after.

The air is still and pregnant with things to come. Blind Man’s Lake was as glassy as a mirror, and even the ocean next to the causeway had barely a ripple. There were three crows that, disconcertingly, sat on a lawn and watched us as we passed by in the car. And I had this feeling as I went to grab the newspaper from the yellow Telegraph Journal holder at the end of our driveway, before we even left, that today is some kind of turning point and I have to be careful. I had a chill and, for those that know me, I’m a really warm person as a rule…so for me to have a physical chill on a relatively warm day (it’s 7 degrees Celsius according to the Weather Network)… well let’s just say it’s weird.

As far as I know there isn’t anything ‘special’ about today (besides being a friend of a friend’s birthday)… but I’m going to stick to this gut feeling and watch myself and everything around me. I hope everyone else does the same if they get that nagging feeling too. Maybe it’s just me though.

Right now I’m having a tea to warm my insides.

Sorry it’s been so long (if anyone actually likes to read my strange posts that is), I’m going to try and work on my site tonight… but Thursdays are bad for me ’cause they’re my prep-before-the-weekend night. I’ll try though!

Be well, be careful and be safe!

I know that’s a lot of wished-protection… but that’s how much of a foreboding feeling I have.


One Response to “Strange portents and odd feelings…”
jgrrl Says:

November 6th, 2008 at 11:35 am edit

I would pay very strong attention to the vibes, all too often we have warning but we told ourselves that it was nothing because only crazy folks “feel” right? and then [...]

so don’t let it own your day but remain ever aware and on your guard just the same.

LOL… just kidding. It’s not that bad out there! Though, my Uncle C even laughed when we told one of his friends (that came to visit while we were there this past weekend) when he asked what we were doing in Stewiacke, and we replied “visiting and shopping”. “Not in shopping in Stewiacke,” Uncle C laughed, “you’d be stuck shopping in the same store!”

It *is* a small place, but it’s comfy and cozy. Uncle C and Aunt D live in a new sub-division in a house that they had built. It’s marvelous! I didn’t get many pictures of the house itself this trip, but next time I’ll document the whole place. This trip was about the Fall colours and family. Pictures will be forthcoming… provided B-sister doesn’t rope me into shows tonight after I get home from work. And I’ll post more about the actual trip too. Honestly I promise to post albums of photos on this site soon!

That’s another thing… I need to get a good album up of my chainmail and scale-mail creations. I want to try pre-selling items to deliver at the convention in March to people who will be there. I think it’d be a nice touch to be able to personally, physically, hand over purchases… and I really want to get back into making things!

Speaking of making things; my skirt is almost done! I have to get the band adjusted (closed off the ends then realized I’m messing with the pattern so I need to open them up a bit again so I can finish them differently) and then sew that on, and hem it! Then I’ll be jumping into sewing my Halloween costume (Lil’Red) together. I know that we have a plan for the other half of the murder mystery thingie… but I itch to make a costume every year!

And that’s no joke or exaggeration… just ask my family, friends… or my closet! *sigh* … I really need to clean that out too.

I want to get a tickle trunk. Those of you who remember him will remember Mr. Dress-Up and his “tickle trunk”. It was a large treasure-chest-looking trunk that was painted real fun and had tons of components that you could mix and match to make any type of costume! Well… mine wouldn’t be that crazy, but I want something of the same ilk to store my many costumes.

I swear… when we get a house I’m going to have one large closet or room that’s going to house all my addictions. …Saying it like that makes me believe I need a whole room. I mean… there’s my costumes/sewing creations, my chainmail/scale-mail, my Fimo, painting supplies (both acrylic and fabric paint… and I really itch to get back into those addictions… I feel like I’m losing my creativity in that regard), drawing supplies, and I’m sure I’m forgetting something(s). It would be one crazy room, I’m tellin’ ya!

Anyway… that’s it for now. I have Cinnabons in front of me (an indulgence I bought while in Stewiake [we shopped at Dartmouth Crossing and the Mic Mac Mall]) and I’m going to eat one then bring the other to my fella at lunch. But I really need to eat it now… ’cause it’s screaming my name and I can’t concentrate!

Wish me some good luck with my research into a project for Flash here at work that I plan on doing today but, regardless, I’ll wish you the best of luck in all you do today!

Stay sun-shiny!

First: I have to find another way to post my photos on this site. The way it is now is quite a hassle (hence there being no photos put up since the first album that my sweetie basically put up for me). That’s why nothing has been uploaded in forever… I just can’t convince myself to do it. I’ll try again tonight, but there’s a lot of preparing to do before Halifax so it’s unlikely.

Now… to the main meat of my post today!

There are strange little odd thoughts that pop into my mind from time-to-time. This morning I had a few as I was coming in town with my Mom (Dad is away preparing to hunt, so no stories from him until after hunting season).

Some of the things they say on the radio are just nuts! Some people who read this may also be friends with me on Facebook and will, possibly, have noticed my status a day or so ago. Yes… the radio guy actually said “moist with anticipation” … he was, I believe, talking about hurricane Kyle that was supposedly about to hit us and dump a 75-100mm of rain on our heads in a short span of time and gusts of wind to knock us over and rearrange our landscape. (side-note: No Kyle… or, at least, he was a kitten when he hit us instead of the rampaging lion that we were warned of… still; best to be prepared. No flooding in our basement, where there was when Hanna smacked into us)

And this morning the same guy, and his usual female counterpart, were going back and forth about the cruise ships that are in and the one that’s coming in (or is already in) today. They were listing off all of the amenities that this big Queen Mary (I or II, not sure… I don’t pay that close attention to their generations) has and ended up saying; “That’s very hoity AND toity” (he) “Fancy and schmancy” (she). It made me giggle. The bizarre, most-times funny, things they say.

Another thought popped into my head as we were crossing the causeway and, for the life of me, I can’t recall what my train of thought was leading up to it. I think I was reflecting on my drives in with Dad and how they are different than travelling with Mom. With Mom I am mostly silent, and respond with short little sentences. With Dad I can have conversations back and forth easily and it doesn’t feel like a ‘fight’ to be heard.

Then I got to thinking… I speak less with people who tend to speak over me or just not listen to me. I gravitate towards just being a ‘listener’ (most often) or just ignoring them completely and retreating to my own thoughts (mostly with ‘conversations’ I don’t find interesting). If I find someone who will listen… I talk, if the mood strikes. I’m a pretty quiet person most times though, because I do enjoy listening.

And I think people pick up on that subconsciously, I honestly do! I’ve had people just ramble off to me and, afterwards, comment that they don’t know why they just unloaded all of their issues onto me. Maybe I just exude a ‘non-threatening’ air. Who knows? Well I suppose the people who talk to me might. LOL

A little note about me; if I don’t unload all of my thoughts and feelings on you it’s because I feel like a burden if I dump my issues on someone else. I will ramble off on this site (those of you who are reading on Facebook, because I now have my website fed into my Facebook profile, this is originally from my website/blog) because if you don’t want to listen… you can just surf elsewhere and come back another time (hopefully), or click off and do something else (if you’re on Facebook reading this).

Well… this is it for today. Like I said above, I’m going to try and get some photos up tonight… but it’s not looking good where I have to get ready for the trip.

Those of you who haven’t heard “Poker Face” by Lady Gaga (there’s no real video on this one, just the music)… if you like dance music… LISTEN to it! It is AWESOME!

Thought for the day: If enough of us smile, can we bring the sun out from behind the clouds? (I believe so!)

Stay sun-shiny!


I beg forgiveness from anyone who normally reads my blog and thinks that this is going to be one of my normal long posts… it’s not. Sorry to disappoint (if that is the feeling you’re experiencing). ;o)

I just added my blog as an RSS feed to my Facebook profile and I wanted to test to make sure it’s working.

More later on my slacker-ness and the reason why I didn’t get any photos uploaded last night (Curse you Poser and Photoshop for feeding my artistic addiction! … well not really “curse”… that would be bad…)

Anywho… gotta organize my folders for the accountant because he’s in this morning (it’s Thursday after-all), and soon I won’t be doing this particular job anymore! Woot!

Stay sun-shiney even if the weather outside is dreary!

I know… you read the title and think; “OMG… what happened? Did she have issues with her beau? Has her mind finally fractured under the weight of her thoughts?” Well… sort of… OH… but not the ‘beau‘ part. We’re still good. I just think too much.

I was having a conversation with a good friend last night and at a point in the conversation that was one of my replies. I think it sounded poetic, and it stuck in my head even this morning as I woke up, so I thought I’d share it. Because it is so poetic in my head, I think I’ll try to compose something around it… something artistic. Maybe a poem/song, maybe a crafty composition of tangible and/or visual art… depends on my mood when I get home (because I don’t have time now before work to do that as well as write a post).

If anyone reading this knows of the Camarilla (based off of White Wolf content)… the rumours are true… I have rejoined the fold. I know this will cause some of you to shake your heads and wail, “Why? For the love of all that is good and great in the world…. WHY?!” Some others of you may realize that it is an addiction… a kind of social addiction that caters to people who want to act, but not on a stage, and those who LOVE to costume, but hate waiting for Hallowe’en. It’s LARP and, for me, it is good (most of the time).

So… because there is no Chapter in our fair city any longer, I have joined the online community of Northern Winds so that I can play on mIRC. I know what you’re thinking; “Didn’t she say ‘costume’? What does she do… sit at her computer in some elaborate outfit?” Answer: No, I don’t sit at my computer in a costume… though I have a ton of them from when we did have a Chapter in the city. I do however, since I am artistically inclined, create images of my characters in costume so that I can reference them and keep the ‘photo’ open while I ‘play’. BUT!!!! There is a convention in Toronto this next year… AND!!!! Since I am a member again… I can go and act and costume… IN PERSON!

Yeah… I am budgeting for a trip to Toronto to go to this convention. I won’t be alone because my beau and, at least, 2 friends will be there with me. One friend plays too, but Chris and my other friend don’t anymore. Toronto is an interesting place though, and we’ve been itching to travel for fun… so it’s an excuse. If nothing else. :o)

I am thoroughly excited though! And it’s inspired me to a costume idea that may end up sparking a few sales for chainmail too… we shall see. I am going to try and create an image of the costume idea on my computer tonight as well as get photos up here that I’ve slacked on.

You know what?? Yesterday I got to thinking before I left from work that I was going to be completely alone at home last night. Then I thought… WOW… I can get ‘this’ done since there won’t be anyone around to ask me to do something. Guess what? I totally forgot what I was going to do as soon as I got into the truck to go home, and I didn’t remember all night… I don’t even remember now! STILL! What I could have done was upload photos and put them on here… curses. Instead, I played around in Poser and Photoshop. Oh well… there’s always tonight! ;oP

So I was chatting with my cousin last night… which cousin? The only one that reads this site that I know of anyway. :o) And he wanted me to mention a game that he plays, and placed in recently, at Gen Con. It’s called “Settlers of Catan” and it’s a resource management board game. I wanted to post here about it because the videos that a player did are just so gosh darned funny!!! It’s a good thing I was alone in the house last night ’cause I was laughing so hard that anyone hearing me would have thought I was insane!

So here are the videos for each episode (yes… he made multiple videos!)… don’t watch them if you don’t want to… but if you do, I hope you get as much of a chuckle as I did: (if the links don’t work, go to and search for “Settler from Catan”)

Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episode 5

I can’t even tell you which one was my favourite because there are parts in each one that made me giggle uncontrollably!

Well that’s it for this morning… I may post tonight if I can get the photos up. For some reason my WordPress plugins have become disabled and I can’t even see them in the list to access them anymore… so I have to get that figured out when I get home too (since my home desktop is where the files are stored). It’s odd though because some of the things I have on my site are still working, even though I can’t see the plugins to edit them. Very strange.

Anywho… I hope your day is a pleasant surprise. It’s hump day after-all! The peak-of-the-week! Enjoy!


You know… there are a few strange things that have slapped me in the face since yesterday:

1) I haven’t posted in September yet! I really need to get a regular schedule down for making posts. Even if it’s just one day every week. I know… it’s not really ‘strange’ per se, but it suddenly hit me last night that I NEED to make a post today about what’s been going on, and then I thought; ‘Girl, you haven’t posted in a WHILE. You need a schedule.’

2) People can surprise you. More to come on that below…

3) Just now, literally, I saw a crow flying the wrong way down the one way street from the windows in the office where I work and I thought; “He’s going to get in an accident” … If I drank coffee I’d say that I need some right now to wake my brain up. As it is, I’ll just eat my granola bar, then some chocolate to get my blood pumping and my brain working properly. I hope that, at least, gave someone a giggle out there in e-land. I thought it was worth mentioning in the off-chance that you might get a chuckle.

4) I have WAY too many hobbies. More to come on that below too…

So … here’s “below”, as I munch on my morning granola bar, please forgive my chewing… even though you can’t hear it:

In all honesty, human beings shouldn’t surprise me anymore. Even if I didn’t have local/work and friend/family-related examples of the range of personalities and social quirks of human kind… the news is FULL of them.

But I must admit that I was shocked yesterday when my boss, someone I thought I had perfectly pegged, offered me the job that I expressed interest in. See, as much as he advocates change, he really strikes me as someone who gets comfortable with the way things *are*. Especially when it comes to someone who has access to all the accounts and has a good handle on the accounting program. I had been hired to do the job of the Office Admin and handle the day-to-day finances and invoicing of clients (as well as everything else that comes with that). I now know how to use Quickbooks, quite comfortably and in a mid-to-advanced capacity, where I didn’t even know of the program’s existence in November of last year. Though I attribute this to my enjoyment in learning new things (also the reason why I have so many hobbies), not because I really like working on the finances. That was necessity.

In any event, we’re putting the call out for a new Office Admin/Finance Clerk and I’ll be transitioning to a sort of graphical catch-all job for now. I’ll still be doing Flash, but I’ll also be helping the girls with whatever they need in order to get projects done faster. This excites me for a few reasons, not the least of which is that I get to do what I went to College for and what I taught for 3/4 of a school year. One of the other reasons it makes me happy is that I can try and help take some of the load off the other girls. Poor Web-gal gets soooo stressed out because she has so many projects on the go and more keep getting piled on top of her and the Lead Graphic gal is just as swamped.

So yeah, I’m <sings> so excited! And I just can’t hide it! <sings>

On the hobbies ‘issue’… last night a friend and I had plans to go to Michael’s (the largest catch-all craft store we have in the city) and took her little munchkin (if you want to see photos of the little dumpling I linked to photos that Chris took of him) along. Man! If I had enough money I would buy up half that store and I don’t even do about a 1/4 of the crafts that you can buy supplies for there. I had gone with the thought of buying some starter supplies for cake decorating, because that is something that I’m interested in trying my hand at. Ever since I was little, some of my fondest memories are of being over at my Nan’s (grandmother) and eating icing worms off our fingers (she would pipe the extra icing from decorating a cake onto our index finger in a long line, like a colourful worm), or getting a hard icing flower as a treat.

However, cake decorating supplies are quite expensive and I don’t have much money at the moment that I can spare. So, instead, I bought a book on Halloween crafts and recipes (I’ll post the name of that a little later because I think it’s a GREAT book for anyone who LOVES Halloween like I do), Halloween cake & cupcake dusting templates, and some foam dots for my Mom (she makes homemade Christmas tags and uses the dots to add dimension… I’ll have to take a photo). I can’t divulge what my friend bought… just in case her fiancé reads my blog. ;oP Though we did stop by at Fabricville, after Value Village didn’t produce any results for a baby-sized pirate costume, because I recalled seeing a pattern for a baby pirate and the costume pattern also included instructions on how to sew a cover for the stroller that would make it look like a cute pirate ship!! If she can’t do it, I’m SEW up to the challenge!

On the way home, my Nan (she came to pick me up since I don’t drive) told me about a young man who is about to get married. Like I said a little earlier in this post, my Nan used to decorate cakes all the time (as well as run her ceramics shop). Well, she has made tons of cakes, but she had made a cake for this young man when he was a baby. It was a baby shower cake, with a little blue plastic bottle and blue topped plastic diaper pin and whatnot (I’ve seen her make these little bassinet cakes and they are adorable!). Apparently his mother kept all these little trinkets for him in order to give them to him at a further date. He is now planning a wedding and his mother told his fiancé about keeping these things, so the fiancé asked when she was going to give them to him. So, when the mother gives them to him, she told him about the woman that made the cake and ‘bunny’ bag for him for his baby shower, and he asked if she was invited to the wedding (I’m assuming that his mother was helping make the guest list). She said that Nan wasn’t invited, and he said that maybe she should be. So … Nan has an invitation to the wedding of a young man that she made baby shower stuff for before he was even born!

It’s surprising how things just come right back around in a loop. It might be a long and twisted ‘loop’, but it’s definitely something to keep in mind when dealing with others. You never know when you’ll ‘meet’ again.

Side note: I am going to be trying really hard to get photos up on this site. I know I’ve promised and promised and nothing’s come of it, but this weekend there is a gaming convention going on and I don’t play any of the games, but I am going up with beau. Soooooo I’m going to edit my photos for placement and upload them when I get an internet connection!

Another one… so soon?

I know what you’re thinking; “Another one? So soon? I haven’t even had a chance to read the massive post you just put up yesterday! What’s up?”

The answer is… well… just ’cause.

See… I want this to be a regular thing, just sometimes life gets … wait… I can’t say “life gets in the way” ’cause that’s the point. Isn’t it? Life should get in the way. And doesn’t this just sound like I’m writing exactly what’s in my head at the moment? Stopping partway through a sentence to correct myself or slip into a crack in the icy layer of my consciousness and plunge into the darkness of my mind? (Man, I love The Phantom of the Opera… see? SEE? Tangent!)

I like typing as if I’m talking to you. I’m not a talkative person in real life unless you get onto a topic that I know something about. However it has been pointed out, recently too, that I am a very inviting person. At a friend’s wedding, two weekends ago, we were sitting at a table for the reception and the priest who married them sat down next to me. He had been sitting at another table all together, but had gotten up and went out for a moment and when he came back he sat in the empty seat next to me (sandwiched by me and a couple I didn’t know) even though there were other seats available with empties beside them. He regaled us with tales of weddings he had done before, some good and some never-talk-to-the-relatives-again bad, and mentioned that his wife was pregnant (and not having a good time of it). I listened intently, because I love hearing stories and it’s just plain polite, and congratulated him (since his wife wasn’t there) on their expected child (they don’t know what the baby is, but she’s near to the end of it so they’ll know soon enough).

But people will just talk to me if I give them a polite smile or empathetic nod at their troubles. I know it sounds hokey, but deep down I want people, anyone/everyone… just random somebodies, to know that there’s someone in the world who feels for them. There are some people this odd minor benevolence (if you can even call it that) does NOT extend to, not racially different or anything… just life choices different. No, not gay/lesbians either (I was going to say ‘homosexuals’ but I hate the sound of that word). I have had friends/co-workers since High School (at least) who are gay/lesbians and I really have NO problem at all with that. If you can find LOVE, it shouldn’t matter the ethnicity, religion, or sex. The only place I draw the line on finding LOVE, is age and that’s only when you get into the younger end of the measuring stick, and it more begs the question; are they mature enough to make such important decisions as having sex, having a baby, getting married, and living together (to name a few, and not necessarily in that order of course)? I mean, some young people get bitten by puppy love and think it’s LOVE, and then make all sorts of mistakes. Hard to generalize though, some people are more mature than you would think.

Though, I suppose I, among others, always say; we learn from our mistakes. It’s the best way TO learn… unless of course what you’re trying to accomplish is life threatening… then it could be fatal. But that’s a choice.

Which brings me to one point that was on the radio this morning and had my father in a tizzy. The whole ATV issue that’s been going about this summer… more accidents, ‘adding’ laws, etc. They’ve had laws in place, my father argues, and they’ve got a new platoon of enforcers… and they are catching and fining people, but they can’t be everywhere at once. Just like the police. They had a neurosurgeon on as a specialist interviewee and really… all of his points are valid and in-line with ‘choices’. If you choose NOT to wear a helmet on an ATV… it’s your own fault if/when you crack your head open. If you choose to drink while driving one, it’s your own fault when you have an accident… just Fate preserve anyone you may ‘try’ to take with you. If you choose to drive at night, you need to choose paths you know very well, use your light and be VERY careful. If you choose to drive recklessly, including speeds, then it’s your own fault if/when you get in an accident.

Honestly. Just use your brains.

That enough of that… I hate ranting, but I felt it necessary. I just want people to be safe, really, that’s all I want. I hate to think of my sisters or parents (who have ATV’s and are very responsible) or family or friends being out somewhere and getting into an accident because of some idiot.

All of this just to say that I saw a doe and her twins walking in the grass & underbrush beside the causeway this morning on my drive in with Dad. I tell you… I hate just posting small stuff… I feel like; if I have the chance to post, I have to make it count since I don’t usually get the chance. They were really cute though! Momma was walking ahead of them looking for some yummy clover and the twins still had their spots! Dad, an avid hunter (though mostly he loves taking photos now), saw a tail… but when I told him about the fawns he was happy. I worry about the deer in there, but they seem smart enough because I never see bodies on the side of the road and I never hear about any getting hit there, and there’s a good sized ‘herd’ of them. Which is kind of odd in-and-of-itself since it’s so close to downtown, but I enjoy seeing them in the morning and occasionally on the way home after work.

My inspirational message for today:
Make informed choices, but… if you make a mistake; make it count.

Have a sun-shiney day!

One Response to “Another one… so soon?”
Adam Wilson Says:

August 25th, 2008 at 12:30 am edit

I agree with accidents caused by lapses in judgment being the fault of the person lacking judgment, but try and explain that to the mothers and you’ll see how far the argument gets. “If only there was someone watching him, he wouldn’t have driven without his helmet,” “if the fines were steeper, they wouldn’t do it,” “if he had a better group of friends, they wouldn’t party on ATVs drunk,” etc. etc. ad nauseum. People blame everyone but the corpse because they want to make that person a good person, and cover up all the bad things that they want to forget. It’s a tough pill to swallow though, so don’t expect anything to change anytime soon, because that would mean a new level of maturity for your average human being, which is not there right now.

Just a thought.

PS – I appreciate all your hard work! Don’t ever think I don’t!

Okay… I need to post… something … anything! It’s been a while… it’s been since … July 29th?! Why didn’t anyone tell me?!

This is what comes of a full-time job during the day and too many projects for friends and family at night. No real “me” time. I grab a few minutes here and there to play some WoW because it’s a great de-stresser, but in no stretch of the word can I be called a hardcore gamer.

Ever feel like the more you do, the less you ARE? Those words have been running around in my head almost since my last post; “The more you do, the less you Are“. A disturbing thought, but it feels true. I have so many projects on the go that have very little or nothing to do with where I want to be in life, and they’re bogging me down. But, you see, I have a very VERY hard time saying “no” to certain people. Family members, forget it… the only way I can say “no” is to tell them that I have HUGE project already on the go… and even then it’s not “no” it’s … “I’ll get to it later, when I can”.

Don’t get me wrong… I don’t resent my family at all. I love them so much it’s hard for me to keep from trying to please them. I just finished one project for my grandmother (scanning in her 35mm Red Hatter photos so that she can put them into her digital picture frame that we got her for her birthday and show her Red Hatter friends), as an example, and already she’s got another one for me (scanning Red Hatter photos from a scrapbook so I can add those to the SD card that goes in her digital frame as well). Le sigh. It’s not like they don’t appreciate the work I do for them either, my grandmother, again for example, is very thankful and she always lets me know that if I’m stuck and need a drive anywhere, she’s available. Very useful for someone who doesn’t drive.

So I enjoy being appreciated… and someone might say that I’m addicted to it and that’s why I let them pile these jobs on top of me, but I do feel suffocated. I have to take time off of my full-time day job just to get ahead on some of my personal jobs.

I wish that I could just quit my day job and do my hobbies for a living. I mean… I’ve got enough of them. Listed here:

  • Sewing
  • Baking
  • Chainmail Jewelery
  • Beaded Jewelery
  • Fimo art pieces (mostly beads and jewelery bits at the moment)
  • Digital graphics
  • Flash graphics and animations
  • Photography (new one, so I’m still learning)

Though I know I’m probably forgetting something, but those are enough to list for here for now since you may not be that interested. :)

In any event… that’s enough of my ramblings for now. I actually have to start doing some work. I have a new banner project that’ll be easy and quick so I think I’ll do that first, and then I have another pain-in-the-butt project that I can actually complete now, so I plan on having that one done either today or tomorrow. These on top of all the admin and finance stuff I have to do that pop up during the day… it’s a wonder I get anything done really!

At least yesterday the bossman gave me a compliment. I closed the MSN window now, but it was something like “It’s a good thing that you’re organized”. He had asked for the number he had to call in regards to something that had been stolen from him. He needed to cancel service on it and I had tried to do it for him late last week, but didn’t have access to that particular account so I gave him all the info then but he lost it. I replied with the number, his account number with that company, and the phone number and name (his AND the company name, so he knew they might ask for both) that it is linked to. Last week I was out on a vacation day on Monday (trying to get caught up on projects), and then I was out sick Tuesday and Wednesday (I hate stomach flus!)… when I got back on Thursday I was talking to one of the girls and said something about the office falling apart without me (I had a little mountain of things on my desk as well as a ton of e-mails) and she said that someone actually said that while I was home sick.

So yeah, one of the things I demand in anything I do for others; appreciation. You may not understand how long it takes me to do something, or how hard it is to manipulate the forces working against me when I take on a project, or how difficult it is to adjust mid-stream sometimes because you want it changed in a particular way… but the very least you can do is appreciate my blood, sweat and tears.

Okay… now I’ll start doing work. I have organized the Accountant’s folders already, in between typing this, and now I’ll get to work on some graphics for the pain-in-the-butt project.

Here’s hoping that, no matter what it’s like on the outside, you have a bright sunny day on the inside.